10 Warning Signs of a Bad Love Relationship

If you ignore these warning signs of bad relationships, you’re setting yourself up for future heartache. It’s hard to accept your relationship isn’t healthy…but the sooner you face the truth, the more quickly you can decide what to do.

In a good relationship or marriage, you feel sure of your partner without constantly having to ask for reassurance or approval. You feel accepted, loved, and secure in your love for him and his for you. One of the biggest warning signs of a bad relationship is feeling unsure and insecure with your partner. Another warning sign of an unhappy or unhealthy marriage is searching for signs that you’re in the wrong relationship! If you don’t have a good feeling, something is wrong. Trust your instincts and listen to the still small voice as you scroll through these warning signs of bad relationships… 

After I list the 10 signs of bad relationships below, I summarize new research that describes how to predict if a relationship will last. It’s an interesting study that tests instinctive word associations with regard to the health of a relationship (specifically, if you automatically think negative or bad words when you’re asked different questions about your partner, then your relationship is worse than you’re willing to admit to yourself).

Here’s one of my favorite signs of a good relationship, from Winnie the Pooh: by A.A. Milne:

Piglet walked up to Pooh.

“Pooh!” whispers Piglet.

“Yes, Piglet?”

“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw.

“I just wanted to be sure of you.”

Isn’t that wonderful? Sometimes you just want to be sure of your partner. This doesn’t mean you’re insecure – or that you’re in a bad relationship. It just means you need to reach out and be sure of your husband or boyfriend. However, if you can’t say, “I just wanted to be sure of you” to your partner, then you’re not being authentic. And that is a warning sign of unhealthy love.

10 Warning Signs of Bad Relationships

I think the worst sign of all types of bad relationships is the first one: secrets. If you can’t talk to your boyfriend or husband – and if you can’t tell anyone what he says and does to you – then it’s a bad relationship. Another important sign of an unhealthy relationship is how you feel. If you feel unhappy, insecure, and unloved when you’re with him, then you may need to rethink your relationship patterns and communication.

Are you keeping secrets from your boyfriend or husband? Are you keeping secrets from your family and friends about your boyfriend, by protecting him from his own behavior or choices? Have you lost yourself in your relationship? Secrets and lies are warning signs that something isn’t right.

1. You keep your man’s actions and words a secret

You keep His Words and Actions a Secret

If you can’t tell your family or friends about the things your boyfriend or husband says and does, then you may not be in a healthy loving relationship. If you lie to protect him, then it’s time to get out of that bad relationship. You’re not just with the wrong guy…you’re being the wrong type of woman.

Examples of keeping secrets include: lying or deceiving your loved ones about how your husband treats your children, hiding things your boyfriend broke or ruined because he was angry, and not talking about the names he calls you or the things he asks or makes you do. The more secrets you keep, the more you’re hiding. The more you hide, the worse your relationship is.

Also read: How to build wealth choosing the right partner

2. He isn’t happy with you, and he wants you to change

If your boyfriend or husband doesn’t love you as you are, then you can’t feel truly secure or comfortable with him. This is one of the biggest warning signs of bad relationships: a man who doesn’t love or accept you as you are. Your boyfriend or husband should love you unconditionally, whether you’re self-employed or unemployed, rich or poor, big or small, or tall or short. And, you should love and accept your boyfriend for who he is – self-employed or unemployed, rich or poor, big or small, or tall or short.

Are you happy with yourself? If you’re getting your sense of identity or self-esteem from your boyfriend or partner instead of a divine source of love, you’ll never feel truly happy with who you are. No matter how your boyfriend feels about you, you need to find ways to love and accept yourself.

3. Your boyfriend or husband is suspicious and jealous

Constant phone calls, demands on your time, and jealous fits are NOT signs of love.

If your husband or boyfriend doesn’t trust you or accuses you of lying, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship. If he opens your mail or shows up at work unexpectedly, he doesn’t trust you. This is a sign of deep insecurity, which could lead to more serious relationship problems.

Warning signs of abusive relationships include lack of trust, lack of respect, and an inability or unwillingness to allow freedom. Does your boyfriend or husband try to control you or your children? Talk to someone you trust in person. You can share your comments here, you can write about a more specific warning sign of a bad relationship, but please talk to someone in person. Bring it out, whatever you’re going through. Get it out of the dark, into the light.

Also read: How to build wealth as a couple

4. Your partner puts you down, in private or in front of others

If he calls you names, ridicules your thoughts or opinions, or makes you feel stupid or ugly, then he’s no good for you. Maybe he’s critical or negative, or he never has anything good to say about you, your home, your kids, or anything you do. You know it’s not right, yet you can’t leave. You know you deserve better, but you feel trapped and helpless. He’s set it up this way, and you’re allowing him to keep you down.

You do not have to stay in a bad relationship. Even if you only recognize one of these warning signs – and even if you have six children and a mortgage together – you do not have to stay with a man who is abusive.

5. You don’t feel like an equal partner in your relationship

Does your husband or boyfriend make all the decisions – or do you? An unequal balance of power is a sign of a bad relationship, and a sign it’s time to get out. If you aren’t being treated equally, it might be time to consider leaving him.

Are you submissive and subservient to your husband, or afraid of telling your boyfriend what you really think and feel? Warning signs of bad relationships!! There’s a difference between healthy compromise and unhealthy servanthood. The healthiest relationships involve give and take, which means we take turns giving and taking. Your husband should not patronize you or treat you like a child, housekeeper, errand runner, or slave.

Also read: How to kiss to boost wealth in your relationship

6. You and your partner don’t have the same long or short-term goals

If you can’t agree on financial issues, family matters, or goals for your future, then you may want to think twice about your relationship. Nobody has the exact same plans for the future, but the happiest couples have the same focus for their lives and futures.

Not having the same goals isn’t necessarily a sign of a bad relationship, but it is an indication that you’re not headed in the same direction. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be together. It means you need to align yourselves toward the same goals, or accept that you’re going in two totally different directions.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what could be.

7. Your boyfriend says he loves you, but doesn’t act like he loves you

Maybe he says, “You’re the best, love you a lot, you know I miss you, you know how I feel about you” — but he only sees you once a week. Maybe he doesn’t text or call you, and he spends more time with his friends or at work than with you.

Believe his nonverbal behavior (his actions) over his verbal behavior (talk is cheap!). Do not believe what he says. Believe what he DOES. Unless, of course, he says he doesn’t love you or he can’t commit to a relationship. Then you should believe him.

Also read: Financial things every married woman must do to build wealth

8. You feel bad, guilty, unhappy, depressed, or sad about your relationship

This sign is based on the above conversation between Piglet and Winnie the Pooh.

If you don’t feel secure, comfortable, and loved in your relationship, then you may be with the wrong guy. Feeling insecure and unsure are two warning signs of bad relationships that should never be ignored.

How do you feel about yourself – separate from your boyfriend or husband? Who are you? What is your source of identity and self-image? Don’t rely on your man to make you feel good about yourself. He is an addition to your life. A boyfriend or husband is not your whole life, and he should not be the source of your self-esteem. If your self-image is dependent on a man’s love (or lack of love), then you’re setting yourself up for a broken and unhealthy sense of self.

Who are you in God? Stepping into and staying in His divine flow of love, peace, and power is the only way you can feel truly good about yourself.

Also read: How to build wealth from good stable network

9. Your family and friends aren’t supportive of your relationship

I don’t think we should choose our boyfriends or husbands based on our family and friends’ opinions, but I do think we should take their opinions into consideration! If your family or friends have strong reservations about your partner, I encourage you to ask for specific reasons. Find out the root of their feelings, and try to be objective.

10. You’re wondering about the warning signs of a bad relationship

The most important warning sign of love gone bad is your instincts and gut feelings. Why are you worrying about your relationship? Would you want your sister, best friend, or daughter to be in this relationship? To find the strength and courage to either fix or leave a bad relationship, you may need to talk to a marriage counselor.

Also read: Silent rules to break to stay wealthy

BONUS!!!

Research About the Signs of Bad Relationships

• What does your partner say or think about you? 

• What words come to mind when you think of your relationship?

What do you think of these signs of bad relationships? I welcome your comments below. I can’t give advice, but you may find it helpful to share what you’re going through. Writing often brings clarity and insight, especially if you’re confused or uncertain about your relationship.

“Your soul is whispering something to you. Slow down so you can hear it.”

May you find the strength and courage to recognize these signs of a bad relationship, and move forward into a new chapter of your life.

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